Until Never
by Akimi Butterfly
Summary: After getting her revenge at last, Sparrow reflects back on her life, attempting to understand the pain that plagues her now: loneliness. Garth/Sparrow


**A/N: **This is something I had in mind for how my Sparrow was feeling throughout the events of Fable 2. The ending is going to be relatively close to the beginning of my next Fable 2 fanfiction, whenever I decide to type it up. Please enjoy!

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Until Never

Why did it hurt so badly?

She'd definitely had much worse pains, in different ways. She'd even suffered this form of pain before.

Why was it _different_?

Sparrow started to reflect back on her eventful life.

She'd lost her sister when she was only seven. Trusting the music box's magic powers had been all too easy for them. Obtaining the five gold that was required as payment took only the span of one cold afternoon. The disappointment at the lack of change once the wish was made hurt, but it was tolerable. They would go on about their lives as if nothing had happened.

Trusting Lucien Fairfax was a grave mistake for both of them, but, again, was all too easy. It is, she'd discovered, exceedingly difficult for two freezing, starving children to decline—or even find the _desire _to decline—a very wealthy man's offer to provide shelter and nourishment. So off they went with the guard, blissfully unaware of the impending tragedy that loomed in the castle.

Losing Rose to Fairfax's bullet had been the darkest hour of her life. In the last few seconds before she was shot, all little Sparrow could understand was that a pistol had gone off, and that Rose had fallen over. Her mind did not make the connection between the two until her consciousness had fallen into darkness.

Her unconsciousness was plagued by dark, shadowy nightmare filled with the echoes of Rose's last scream. When she awoke, she could only find the strength to curl up on her side and attempt to cry away her memories.

Despite that, the next ten years at the gypsy camp near Bower Lake were among the brightest in her lifetime. She trained everyday in her swordsmanship and marksmanship, getting stronger and quicker with each passing day. She always had someone to spend time with, be it her loyal dog, her new guardian, or one of her gypsy friends. A few days after arriving, she heard that Fairfax had disappeared from Bowerstone, and swore to herself that she would find him and kill him.

Becoming a Hero and gaining the Hero of Strength's trust had been an easy thing to accomplish. Watching as Hammer mourned her father's death, however, was not. Unable to get there in time to stop him, Sparrow could only listen in horror to the gunshot that inevitably ended the Abbot's life, and Hammer's desperate _"No!"_ Sparrow arrived at the Temple and saw her friend crying over her dear father's bloody body and she tried her best not to think about why the situation seemed so familiar. She rested a hand on Hammer's shoulder in deep understanding as she herself cried again for her own loss.

No one had ever told Sparrow that marriage could be so full of life, and yet so dead. Meeting a fellow adventurer, Alexander, and supposedly falling in love with him was not the experience she'd always thought it would be. She always knew that she wasn't really in love with him as he was with her. Maybe she just needed someone to love her, to always be around when she needed to talk. Maybe she needed someone to _care_. Whatever the reason, they eventually married while Hammer was still mourning her loss and they soon became parents. Sparrow loved the child as any parent could, but there was always a gap between her and her family, cutting her away from their happiness.

Then there came the fateful day that she departed for the Spire. Winning the Crucible was much easier than she'd been led to believe, and that served to increase the cocky cheerfulness that always emanated from her. Hammer and she playfully teased each other until they suddenly halted at the docks. It was painful then, too, leaving everyone and everything behind, but she knew it had to be done. So she squared her shoulders, patted her dog's head, hugged her best friend, and marched onto the ship, ready for whatever lay ahead.

The Spire was worse than anything she could have anticipated, even if she hadn't known what to expect in the beginning. Slaves and soldiers and officers and the Commandant and the throbbing of the Spire itself beneath her feet and Fairfax, so close and yet so untouchable… it was all maddening and she _would_ have completely lost it in those first few weeks, if not for _him_.

Garth. The Hero of Will.

He understood the madness of the Spire and the madness that plagued Fairfax's every thought. He understood her gnawing desire to slaughter him. He understood her longing for the outside world. When she was on guard duty, they would always talk through the strange telepathic connection Garth had shown her the first time they met, face-to-face. They were quickly becoming friends.

So it was like a knife in the gut when she discovered that the Commandant had moved him deeper into the Spire. She only hoped that she could find a way out before either of them ended up dead, which seemed likely for her, as she was intent on disobeying the Commandant's every order. Whether this was out of spite or her sense of justice, she knew not.

When she was sent looking for the missing guard, she never expected that the day of her grand escape was finally upon her. It was intensely painful when Garth destroyed her collar, but it was a triumphant pain. She had fought against the Commandant's and the Spire's will and she had won. On the ship back to Albion, she smiled and laughed more than she had in all the ten years she'd spent in her prison, and Garth laughed alongside her.

Fighting atop Garth's tower. While she reveled in each blow she dealt to Fairfax's army, more and more came until she was sure they would be killed. What chance did they stand against an entire army? Then the Cullis Gate was operational and Sparrow saw the opportunity of survival and took it. The Cullis Gate erupted just after she used it, and she hoped with everything in her that the other two were there with her, or away from the infested tower. She didn't see anyone as Wraithmarsh fell into nothingness.

Fighting the Banshees was like reliving every aching moment of Sparrow's life. Their voices were like ice as their bitter words slipped through her memories, bringing each one to the very front of her mind. It brought her to her knees and once, she considered surrender. To end all her worries, fears, and agony took on a blissful, inconsequential illusion. Then Garth seemed to appear before her eyes. He wouldn't want this. So she pulled herself to her feet and fought on.

Fulfilling her end of the bargain she made to Reaver was one of the most difficult decisions she had to make. Up against the Shadow Court and it lay with her the decision of who would sacrifice her youth. Vanity meant nothing to Sparrow, but her youth and strength were imperative to stop Fairfax's madness. It was one girl's youth against thousands of lives. So she gave in and sacrificed the girl. Her distraught screams _nearly_ sent Sparrow into hysteria, but it was Theresa's consoling words and calm understanding that broke the dam. Sparrow didn't know how long she sat outside the ruin weeping.

The betrayal from Reaver was nothing she did not expect, so it did not hurt her. She'd already made the mistake of trusting a rich, handsome man once, and it would not happen again. She also expected Fairfax's betrayal of Reaver. They descended deep under Bloodstone, slaying every Spire Guard that stood between them and freedom, leaving a trail of blood and bodies behind.

Sparrow didn't know why she was so elated to see Garth as they exited the lifeless tunnels, but she didn't think on it long. A Great Shard had come for them, Fairfax's ultimate attempt to stop their progress. But Sparrow was ready. With four Heroes, it would not stand a chance. They successfully held back their enemy for a time—Reaver shooting, Hammer swinging, Garth shocking the Shard, and Sparrow attempting to constantly shift between the three.

But as is the nature of things, their luck would not last.

The red light engulfed everything and everyone in the area was thrown off their feet by the Shard's attack. Some rose from the blow, and some did not. Garth did not. So Sparrow decided to take up his position, throwing everything she'd learned about Will and magic from Garth at the Great Shard, determined to see it _break. _

And break it did. But it would not simply succumb to its inevitable destruction without releasing one more blast. One that was aimed solely at Sparrow.

Of physical pain, it was the most she'd ever been in. Every piece of her ached. Blood soaked the ground around her and filled her lungs and she could not breathe. She could not move. The world was fading, and it was frightening to her to find that she did not care. Her conscious mind would not work, nor understand her distant, yet absolute _will _to survive. Color bled from everything, and all life seemed to die. A thick, black fog pervaded her sight, forcing her to watch as the world disappeared around her.

And then _he _was there. Garth. Her savior. He'd given her his last potion, despite his own wounds.

Sparrow had no words for this kindness apart from a witty remark or two. She was too used to _saving _as opposed to _being saved. _It was awkward and uncomfortable but those feelings were overridden by their victory. Theresa soon appeared to them and convinced Reaver to return with them to the Guild to prepare for the ritual. Soon they would have the ultimate weapon, and the means to sabotage Fairfax's plans.

Sparrow's chance at vengeance was in sight.

It was the moment she would never forget, standing on the Heroes' Hill, ritual in place. The pain of the three beams striking her at once was extraordinary but she thought this was what would summon their weapon. As was becoming more and more frequent, she did not know what to expect. Perhaps it would be a blade or a gun of some kind. Perhaps it would take her to the Spire—she'd gladly fight as many Spire Guards as it took to get to Fairfax. But when the blinding white light vanished, nothing new was present apart from the absence of Theresa.

Then _he _was there. Lucien Fairfax.

He took the other three Heroes, and when Sparrow moved to stop him, grab her pistol, punch him in the face, do _something_, she found that she could not move. She was frozen in place. Then she knew that the light had done this to her. She could only watch in horror as he pulled out his pistol—the very same one that took Rose away—and aimed.

Her beloved dog took the hit, and she watched helplessly as he died at her feet. Then Fairfax announced that he himself had gone to her home at the gypsy camp and murdered her family and it was as if hell itself had fallen over her world. Another loss, another death. She felt her heart still for a moment, then pick up in double-time. Then Fairfax aimed at her one last time, the sound of a gunshot, then nothing.

It was unlike the pain she'd felt before. It was dull and distant, as if she were blocking it out. Then there was the darkness she had become accustomed to, and then a shining white light.

Then there was Rose, and all thoughts of the outside world slipped away like water between her fingers. She spent only a day with her—kicking chickens, killing beetles, shooting bottles—doing all the things they used to. Only when she heard the familiar sounds of a music box playing did she understand what was happening, and that she was really almost dead.

It was painful to run away from the imaginary Rose, but a burning need to kill Fairfax overwhelmed Sparrow and drove her forward. She found the music box among dead villagers whose faces were unfamiliar to her. Once she had it, the illusion fell away, and she found herself once more in the Spire, music box in hand.

She found Fairfax behind the glowing light, in a room with five platforms and an endless pit. She saw that he was draining the other three Heroes' lives away, and the Heroes writhed in crippling pain and fear.

Sparrow never would have thought that the music box would be what would bring down Fairfax, but she watched as it took away his life force as he had tried to do to the others.

And then it was just her and him. Sparrow and Lucien Fairfax.

She watched in amazement as he tried to _justify _his madness. He was explaining why he'd done what he'd done, killed who he'd killed, and what he was hoping to accomplish from all of it—to bring an end to chaos. But Sparrow knew that it was only the loss of his family that drove him, and that was all that had ever driven him. She knew she'd focused too much on his words when she saw Reaver slowly pull out his pistol. But this was _her _revenge. So she quickly yanked her own gun out, and fired.

Sparrow watched in dark triumph as the man who had taken away everything she had fell down into death's cold arms.

Then there was the choice. She'd gone so far to get revenge, and now that she had it, she did not know what was left to her. Theresa presented to her the option of regaining her family and dog—the things she'd been fighting to avenge. But, for reasons she herself did not understand, she chose to revive those who had died in the Spire. Perhaps it was because she was satisfied, and because she knew all too well what loss felt like.

But Sparrow did not think it was the end. She had her friends. Hammer, Garth, Theresa, even Reaver. She would not be completely alone.

So when Hammer declared that she wished to go study with the warrior monks in the far north, and Garth decided to go back home to Sammarkand, and Reaver decided to go along with him, and Theresa remained within the Spire, Sparrow was brought to her knees in a kind of deep, hopeless, agonizing pain that she could not comprehend.

She sat now at the end of one of the docks in a snow-covered Oakfield, staring out to open sea, past the tall, rugged Tattered Spire, and into the black, clouded night sky.

A single, crystal tear rolled down her cheek, off her face, and into the icy water. A light ripple stretched across a small span of the surface. The ripple then leveled out with the rest of the water, and everything was still again.

Why did it hurt so much to say goodbye?

Garth's smiling face flashed before her eyes, and she knew she had her answer.


End file.
